Pegging: The Complete Guide to Learning About and Practicing It

Pegging is a form of anal sex in which one person penetrates their partner using a dildo, most often worn with a strap-on harness. How do you get started? Which harness should you choose? Which dildo should you use? How much lube should you use? And most importantly, how can you make the experience comfortable and enjoyable for both partners?

Long surrounded by stereotypes, the pegging is discussed much more openly these days. And that’s probably a good thing, because behind this English word lies a practice that’s actually quite simple to understand: anal sex performed with a dildo worn by one of the partners.

The term was first popularized to refer to a woman who anally penetrates a man using a strap-on dildo. But the practice is obviously not limited to any single sexual orientation, gender identity, or relationship dynamic.

Heterosexual couples, same-sex couples, queer partners: whenever a person uses a strap-on to anally penetrate their partner, the same key considerations apply—choosing the right equipment, preparation, lubrication, comfort, and communication.

And if you're here because the idea intrigues you but you're not quite sure where to start, that's exactly what this guide is for.

What exactly is pegging?

Let's start with the definition.

The Pegging is a form of anal penetration performed with a sex toy, usually a dildo held in place in front of the pelvis by a harness.

This harness has several names: strap-on harness, strap-on dildo, or dildo harness.

The principle remains the same: the dildo is held firmly enough so that the person wearing the harness can control its movements.

But not all systems work the same way.

Some harnesses are designed to hold a flat-based dildo. Others use interchangeable rings. Some are designed as genuine leather BDSM accessories. Others look more like lingerie. And there are also strap-ons where part of the device is worn inside the body of the person doing the penetrating.

The choice of system therefore makes a huge difference to the experience.

Pegging isn't just for heterosexual couples

Historically, the term “pegging” has mainly come to refer to a specific scenario: a woman who anally penetrates a man using a strap-on dildo.

This definition explains why pegging has long been portrayed as a «role reversal.».

But limiting the practice to this single scenario alone would be very narrow-minded today.

Anal pleasure and the use of a strap-on are not dependent on sexual orientation. A harness can be worn by a woman, a man, or a non-binary person. The person being penetrated can also be of any gender.

In a same-sex male couple, for example, a strap-on can allow them to explore a form of penetration different from that achieved with the penis, to choose the exact shape and size of the dildo, or to incorporate the harness into a BDSM scenario.

In a same-sex female couple, a strap-on can also be part of the couple's sexual life, including for anal penetration.

The equipment does not determine the gender or sexual orientation of the person using it.

Pegging and Homosexuality: Let’s Dispel a Common Misconception

This is probably one of the most persistent misconceptions about pegging.

The fact that a man enjoys anal penetration does not, in and of itself, say anything about his sexual orientation.

Sexual orientation refers to the people to whom one is attracted. A sexual practice describes what one enjoys doing with one's partner.

The two concepts are not interchangeable.

Part of the taboo also stems from old stereotypes that systematically link penetration, domination, and masculinity. In this view, the person who penetrates is necessarily dominant, while the person who is penetrated is necessarily submissive.

The reality of sexualities is far less simplistic.

It’s possible to be penetrated without being submissive. It’s possible to wear a strap-on without seeking to dominate. And, of course, one can choose to intentionally incorporate a dynamic of domination and submission into pegging.

These are different dimensions.

Why try pegging?

There is no single answer.

For some people, curiosity is enough.

For others, pegging is a way to discover a new form of anal or prostate pleasure.

For still others, the appeal lies more in swapping their usual roles: taking control, giving it up, discovering their partner in a different role, or simply introducing a new element into the couple’s sex life.

A strap-on can also become an erotic object in its own right. A black leather harness, a patent leather model, or a piece inspired by lingerie obviously creates a different atmosphere even before penetration begins.

That is precisely why, at BRIGADE MONDAINE, we do not view the harness as merely a technical device designed to hold a dildo.

It's all part of the experience.

Why can anal sex be pleasurable?

The anus and the surrounding area contain many nerve endings. Stimulating them can therefore be pleasurable regardless of a person’s sex or gender.

For people with a prostate, pegging also allows them to indirectly explore that area through the rectal wall.

This is one of the reasons why some people look for dildos with a curve or a specific shape.

But there is no universally ideal form.

Some people prefer a slim, relatively straight dildo. Others are looking for more bulk. Still others prefer a pronounced curve or a vibrating sex toy.

The right choice depends above all on the experience of the recipient.

Before pegging: Communication is the first step

Before choosing a dildo, you first need to know whether both partners actually want to try it.

Tell us what appeals to you about the practice.

Is it anal penetration? Role-playing? The look of the harness? A dynamic of domination? Prostate stimulation? Or simply curiosity?

This discussion often helps both partners realize that they don’t necessarily have the same understanding of what the term «pegging» means.

Also, decide how you want to communicate during the experience.

A simple «slower,» «stop,» or «keep going» may be enough. In a more BDSM-oriented context, a safeword can, of course, be used.

And as with any sexual activity, consent can be withdrawn at any time.

Should you do an enema before pegging?

No, it's not required.

For many people, good personal hygiene and using the restroom are enough.

Some women, however, prefer to perform an enema because it makes them feel more at ease.

In this case, the goal is not to cleanse the entire intestine. Excessive preparation can, in fact, irritate the rectal lining.

An enema should therefore remain an option for personal comfort, not a mandatory requirement for anal sex.

The most important rule of pegging: lube

If we had to single out just one difference between vaginal penetration and anal penetration, it would be this: The anus does not naturally produce enough lubrication for penetration.

Lubricant is therefore an essential part of pegging.

It reduces friction and helps keep the particularly sensitive skin in this area comfortable.

And don't hesitate to reapply it during sex.

What kind of lubricant should you use for pegging?

The choice depends, in particular, on the sex toy's material and whether a condom will be used.

A lubricant water-based is generally the most versatile option when it comes to sex toys, especially those made of silicone.

If you use a latex condom on the dildo, avoid oils and choose a lubricant that is compatible with the condom.

Above all, the most important thing is to never think of lubricant as just a minor part of the pegging kit.

STRAP-ON-ME: When Lubricant Becomes Part of the Fantasy, Too

BRIGADE MONDAINE offers, among other things, two particularly original designs by STRAP-ON-ME the Sperm Effect Lubricant and the Thready Semen Effect Lubricant.

They deliberately play with the appearance and texture of semen.

The appeal is obviously both aesthetic and narrative: when used with a dildo, this type of lubricant adds a visual element to the fantasy.

The sleek version further enhances this textural effect.

This is a good example of a product that serves an essential practical purpose while also becoming part of the game itself.

Getting Started with Pegging: Why It's Best to Start Small

For your first experience with anal sex, size isn't the goal.

A thinner dildo generally allows you to explore sensations more gradually and understand how your body reacts.

The person being penetrated needs to be able to relax. A slow pace, a generous amount of lubricant, and constant communication are much more important than immediately seeking depth or girth.

If penetration becomes really painful, stop.

Pain is not a necessary step that must be taken in order to experience pleasure.

Should you prepare by using a butt plug?

It's not essential, but it might be interesting.

A plug of the right size allows you to gradually get used to the sensation of insertion before moving on to the strap-on dildo.

BRIGADE MONDAINE offers a variety of very different styles of anal plugs: classic models, handcrafted pieces, jewelry-style plugs, vibrating models, and designer pieces.

At Adele Brydges, for example, the plug becomes a genuine handcrafted piece made of glazed porcelain and manufactured in London.

Porcelain has a very smooth surface and also allows you to play with temperature sensations. The designer offers, in particular, the Pink Plug and the Thalo, in various shapes and sizes.

On the other hand, UPKO In particular, it offers a connected vibrating butt plug, which allows you to incorporate vibration into anal exploration.

The goal isn't to turn preparation into a mandatory process. It's simply another way to discover what you enjoy before using a strap-on.

Pegging gear: three items to choose from

A classic ensemble is essentially based on three elements:

1. The harness, which holds the dildo in place.

2. The dildo, for which you must select the shape, diameter, length, and material.

3. The lubricant, which is essential for comfortable anal penetration.

These three elements must be considered together.

A gorgeous dildo that doesn't match the diameter of the harness ring won't be much use to you.

How do you choose a pegging harness?

The first criterion is retention.

A poorly fitted harness moves along with the dildo, forcing the wearer to constantly adjust their pelvis.

The second criterion is adjustability. The straps must allow the harness to be precisely adjusted to fit the wearer's body shape.

The third is compatibility with dildos.

Finally, there's the aesthetic.

And on this last point, the possibilities are much more interesting than the purely functional strap-on that people still often imagine.

STRAP-ON-ME: From Technical Harnesses to Lingerie

STRAP-ON-ME is naturally one of the first brands to check out for pegging.

The French brand is developing an entire ecosystem of harnesses, dildos, strap-ons, and lubricants designed to work together.

The Desirous Pegging Harness, for example, features adjustable straps and padded back support. It is compatible with STRAP-ON-ME dildos thanks to its interchangeable ring system.

The Fabulous Take customization to the next level with three ring diameters and two attachment heights that let you adjust the dildo's position.

For a look that's more like lingerie, the styles Diva, Heroine, One-of-a-Kind, Sublime, Divine, or Idyll allow the harness to be integrated directly into the garment.

That's an important difference: You can choose a harness purely for its functionality, or decide that it will be an integral part of the seduction.

LIEBE SEELE: The Strap-On Meets Japanese BDSM

At LIEBE SEELE, the harness leans more toward the world of bondage.

The Rose Gold Strap-On Harness is adjustable and comes with two attachment rings of different diameters, allowing you to use different sizes of flat-based dildos.

The Dark Secret Strap-On Instead, it features a much darker aesthetic, with black leather and gold-colored metal accents.

And the KINBAKU Strap-On truly transforms the harness into a statement piece, with red-printed lambskin and a gold-tone center ring.

These models are particularly appealing when pegging is part of a domination or bondage scenario, or simply fits into a more pronounced fetish aesthetic.

House of SXN: Luxury Leather Pegging

With House of SXN, we enter yet another world.

The American company handcrafts its BDSM accessories in Palm Beach, Florida.

The Strap-On Dominatrix It is made of cowhide leather with a suede interior and metal rings. Its adjustable design allows it to fit a variety of body types.

The Rubra Strap-On Harness follows the same approach: the harness becomes a true luxury BDSM item rather than just a holder for a sex toy.

For those who want to incorporate pegging into a world of leather, control, and power play, this aesthetic difference matters a great deal.

Which dildo should you choose for pegging?

That is probably the question that deserves the most thought.

Here are four things to look at: the diameter, insertable length, shape, and compatibility with your harness.

To start with, a relatively thin and smooth model is generally easier to get the hang of.

Once you have more experience, you can look for a larger diameter, a specific curvature, different textures, or vibrating features.

In fact, the total length listed on a product page isn't always the most useful piece of information. It's the actual insertable length that tells you how the product will be used.

STRAP-ON-ME: Classic Dildo or Multi-Orgasm Technology?

STRAP-ON-ME lets you choose from a variety of experiences.

The Original Strap-On offer a more direct approach and come in several variations.

The Multi Orgasm Dildo Semi-Realistic takes a completely different approach.

It features three independent motors with multiple vibration and stimulation modes, as well as a remote control. When used with a compatible harness, it adds sensations that a passive dildo cannot provide.

It also comes in several sizes.

So this isn't necessarily the option we'd recommend off the top of our heads for a first-time exploration of anal sex. However, for a couple already familiar with pegging who wants to upgrade their equipment, this option becomes much more appealing.

What about designer dildos?

Not everyone is necessarily looking for an anatomical representation.

BRIGADE MONDAINE also selects sex toys where design, material, and the object itself take center stage.

The creations of’Adele Brydges Porcelain pieces are a particularly striking example of this: here, the intimate object becomes a true work of craftsmanship.

Other designs feature metal, silicone, or more abstract shapes.

When using it with a harness, however, always check to make sure it has a compatible base and verify the dimensions of the ring. Not all dildos are automatically compatible with all harnesses.

How do you try pegging for the first time?

A successful first experience doesn't depend on complicated choreography.

It depends mainly on time.

Start with the couple's usual foreplay, and don't make penetration the sole purpose of sex.

The anal area can then be explored gradually, depending on each person's preferences.

When you switch to a dildo, apply a generous amount of lubricant to the sex toy and around the opening of the anus.

The recipient should be able to control the pace and immediately report any discomfort.

Start slowly. Once your body has adjusted, you can adjust the movement and pace based on how you feel.

And keep the lubricant within reach.

What are some good positions to start pegging?

The best position isn't necessarily the most spectacular one. To start with, choose one in which both partners can easily control their movements and communicate.

The spoon

The side-by-side position naturally limits the range of motion and makes it easier to adjust. It also allows you to stay very close to your partner.

Face to Face

The recipient lies on his or her back. This position facilitates eye contact and allows the person wearing the harness to easily monitor his or her partner’s reactions.

The recipient takes control

Another option is to let the person being penetrated take more control of the movement themselves. For a first-time experience, this control can be reassuring, since they can directly determine what feels right for them.

Once they have gained some experience, the couple can, of course, explore other options.

Pegging and BDSM: Does It Necessarily Involve Domination?

No.

But the two worlds come together very easily.

Simply switching up the usual roles can already be part of the fantasy. Some couples want to take it a step further by adding handcuffs, a collar, a blindfold, or other restraints.

This is where companies like LIEBE SEELE, UPKO, or House of SXN take on their full meaning.

A LIEBE SEELE harness can be paired with handcuffs or accessories from the same collection. House of SXN lets you create an all-leather look. UPKO, on the other hand, offers a more technical and contemporary take on BDSM.

But there's no reason to turn pegging into a domination session.

Pegging can be tender, playful, very sexual, very BDSM, or not BDSM at all.

Can you use a condom on a dildo?

Yes.

In particular, this can make cleaning easier and serves as a useful barrier when the sex toy is shared.

Change condoms between partners and when moving to different areas of the body to prevent the transfer of bacteria.

And if you're using a latex condom, choose a compatible lubricant. Oily products can weaken latex.

Cleaning Your Dildo After Pegging

Cleaning depends on the material and the manufacturer's recommendations.

Silicone, metal, glass, and porcelain do not necessarily require exactly the same care.

Be sure to always check the instructions on the product page.

In general, a sex toy intended for anal penetration should be thoroughly cleaned after use and completely dried before being stored.

The harness should also be cared for according to its material. A washable fabric model obviously isn't cared for the same way as a leather harness from House of SXN or LIEBE SEELE.

What equipment should you choose based on your profile?

I'm just discovering pegging

Keep it simple: a comfortable, adjustable harness, a relatively thin dildo, and plenty of lube.

STRAP-ON-ME harnesses are particularly helpful for easily understanding which harnesses are compatible with which dildos.

I want my harness to look like lingerie

Check out the collections STRAP-ON-ME Diva, Heroine, Unique, Idyll, Sublime, or Divine.

The harness then becomes part of the outfit rather than an accessory added at the last minute.

I want a BDSM aesthetic

Harnesses LIEBE SEELE let you switch from Rose Gold to Dark Secret black leather or the spectacular KINBAKU.

I want genuine luxury leather

House of SXN is the best option, especially with the Strap-On Domina and the Rubra Harness, both handcrafted in Florida.

I want to add vibrations

Check out Multi-Orgasm Dildo STRAP-ON-ME or vibrating anal toys UPKO.

I want to turn cooking into a sensory experience

Porcelain plugs and objects by’Adele Brydges allow for a much slower, more sensory experience, particularly thanks to the thermal properties of porcelain.

I want to emphasize the visual fantasy

Both STRAP-ON-ME Semen-Effect Lubricants, classic and sleek, add an extra visual dimension while providing the lubrication needed for the activity.

Mistakes to Avoid on Your First Try

Choosing a dildo that's too big. Aesthetics should not take precedence over comfort.

Underestimating the importance of lubricant. When it comes to anal sex, a few drops are generally not enough preparation.

Going too fast. Give your body time to adjust.

Buying a harness and a dildo separately without checking to see if they're compatible. Check the diameter of the ring and the type of base on the dildo.

Assuming that the person wearing the harness must necessarily be in control of everything. The recipient must be able to communicate and help control the pace.

Make enemas mandatory. This is a personal choice regarding preparation, not a requirement.

Moving from anal penetration to another area without changing protection or cleaning the sex toy.

Pegging is really just another way to explore pleasure

Once you set aside the stereotypes, pegging becomes much less mysterious.

It's anal sex with a sex toy.

What makes it particularly interesting is everything a couple can build around it: discovering new sensations, prostate stimulation, switching up their usual roles, power play, fetish aesthetics, or simply the desire to try something different.

There is no "right" way to practice pegging.

There are, however, a few simple principles: consent, communication, gradual progression, appropriate equipment, and plenty of lubrication.

Choose your pegging gear at BRIGADE MONDAINE

BRIGADE MONDAINE selects harness strap-ons, strap-on dildos, dildos, butt plugs, sex toys anal toys and lubricants from designers and brands specializing in pleasure and high-end BDSM.

The collections STRAP-ON-ME, LIEBE SEELE, House of SXN, UPKO, and Adèle Brydges Above all, they ensure that the choice isn't limited to a matter of size.

Fabric or leather, lingerie or bondage gear, classic or vibrating dildos, silicone or porcelain: each combination offers a different experience.

And when it comes to pegging, advice can really make a difference.

Visit BRIGADE MONDAINE Private Boutique at Paris, 5th Arrondissement, Left Bank It lets you see the different systems, compare harnesses, understand how to adjust them, and check compatibility with dildos before making a choice.

The Private Boutique also features a dedicated fitting room for erotic luxury items and a personal shopper service to assist you in making your selection in complete confidentiality.

Discover STRAP-ON-ME and pegging harnesses

Explore Sex Toys and Lubricants

Explore anal plugs and accessories

Discover the Paris Rive Gauche Private Boutique

FAQ: All Your Questions About Pegging

What is pegging?

Pegging is a form of anal sex in which one person penetrates their partner with a dildo, typically worn in a strap-on harness.

Is pegging practiced only by heterosexual couples?

No. Although the term was historically popularized to describe a woman anally penetrating a man with a strap-on, pegging and the use of a strap-on can be practiced regardless of the partners’ gender or sexual orientation.

Is a man who enjoys pegging gay?

No. A sexual practice does not define sexual orientation. Sexual orientation depends on attraction to certain people, not on whether or not one enjoys anal stimulation.

Why do some men enjoy pegging?

The anal area has many nerve endings, and for people with a prostate, penetration can also provide indirect prostate stimulation.

Does pegging always hurt?

No. Anal penetration that has been properly prepared should not involve significant pain. Taking it slowly, relaxing, communicating, and using lubrication are essential. Sharp or persistent pain is a sign that you should stop.

Which dildo should you choose for your first time?

To start, you should generally choose a dildo that’s relatively thin, smooth, and compatible with your harness. You can always explore other diameters, lengths, and shapes later on.

Which harness should you choose for pegging?

Choose a sturdy harness that’s adjustable to fit your body and compatible with your chosen dildo. STRAP-ON-ME offers several models specifically designed for pegging, while LIEBE SEELE and House of SXN offer alternatives with a stronger focus on leather, fetish, and BDSM.

What's the difference between a strap-on and a dildo harness?

In everyday language, the terms are often used interchangeably. The harness specifically refers to the piece worn around the hips that holds the sex toy in place. «Strap-on» can refer to the entire assembly or to certain types of sex toys designed to be worn.

Should you use lube for pegging?

Yes. The anus does not naturally produce enough lubrication for penetration. A suitable lubricant reduces friction and significantly improves comfort.

Can you use just any lubricant?

No. Check to see if it’s compatible with the sex toy’s material and, if applicable, with the condom you’re using. A water-based lubricant is generally a versatile option for many sex toys.

What are semen-like lubricants used for?

They provide lubrication while visually replicating certain aspects of semen. STRAP-ON-ME offers a “Semen Effect” version and a “Stringy Semen Effect” version at BRIGADE MONDAINE for those who wish to incorporate this effect into their role-play.

Should you do an enema before pegging?

No. Some people prefer to do one to feel more at ease, but it's not required. Excessive preparation can also irritate the area.

A plug Is anal sex necessary before pegging?

No, but a plug of the right size can help you gradually get used to the sensations of anal penetration before using the strap-on dildo.

Can you use a condom on a dildo?

Yes. This can make hygiene easier and serves as a useful barrier when sharing a sex toy. Change condoms between partners and when moving between different areas of the body.

Is pegging necessarily a BDSM practice?

No. It can certainly be practiced without domination or bondage. But it can also be incorporated into a BDSM scenario with a leather harness, handcuffs, a collar, or other accessories if the partners wish.

Where can I buy a pegging harness for Paris?

The BRIGADE MONDAINE Private Boutique, located at Paris 5e Rive Gauche, features the STRAP-ON-ME, LIEBE SEELE, and House of SXN collections, as well as a selection of dildos, anal plugs, and lubricants. This allows you to compare the different options and get advice before making a choice.

BRIGADE MONDAINE Does she ship harnesses and sex toys internationally?

Yes. The BRIGADE MONDAINE collection is available online with shipping to France, Europe, and internationally, subject to the terms and conditions applicable to the destination.